bianca / 21 / australia

"I often hear a caveat when people talk about recovery for themselves: they say, I’m in recovery. But I know this will always be with me, to some extent… Says who? Why did you believe them? What the hell do they know about what you can or can’t do? That theory assumes that you are helpless in the face of your eating disorder. How does it feel to be told you are helpless, unable to choose a life of your own, unable to take responsibility for who you are and what you can become? Do you know the answer to those things yourself? Do you know whether you can recover? Have you tried to live with the same ferocity, the same tenacity, the same passion and desperation with which you have tried to die?
— From Marya Hornbacher’s new afterword in Wasted

I don’t want to do stuff that matters

can’t I just do nothing please